What are parents supposed to do when a young adult daughter or son with RAD who has disconnected from you for a long time realizes you are an important part of their life and starts reaching? Is it a good idea to have a visit? How should we handle it?
I actually had a therapist call me indignantly and demand I stop saying that children must have a parent with them in the treatment room. I was shocked! She had long touted herself as an expert in the field of attachment. She told me, “I can get children to open up and...
The original research was done by John Bowlby MD over 70 years ago. When he was hired by the World Health Organization to find out why the children from the orphanages after WWII were out of control, John Bowlby’s research revealed what he termed...
An old Bedouin metaphor says: Never let a camel get his nose in your tent." In the US we say, “Give them an inch and they will take a mile”. Truer words were never spoken when it comes to working with a child with RAD! RAD children have massive trust issues. They choose to rule....
My stomach turned! Once again a gentle loving family had been misguided and hurt for years by an adoption worker telling them that RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) was rare and not to worry. When they called and described deeply concerning symptoms she told them it was “a period of...
The eyes are the windows to the soul. Yesterday I got a piercing hate look from a big, 15 year old boy that I am working with. It was a portal to cold, dark, evil. It was a long look as he walked by and drilled it into me. It is still echoing in my heart. He clearly wanted me dead.
Was I scared?...
I first saw Anna across the circle from me. Her long blonde hair hung in a braid over her shoulder. She was wearing a beautiful handmade Mennonite style dress but what struck me the most were her eyes. They were cold, dark and vacant. The happy chatter around the circle at...
An emotionally fragile child needs the same quiet healing environment as a medically fragile child would–one that recently had invasive surgery. A child that has recently had an appendix removed would remain quietly in their bed, or on the couch, without playing baseball or going swimming....
Have a child who trusts and respects you
Have a child who knows how to love and cares about others
Avoid raising an angry, aggressive, defiant child
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Children with broken hearts and wounded minds have special needs. When children have had early separation, abuse, neglect, or medical interventions, they are at high risk for attachment disorders.
Let me give you an example: If you had child “A” with diabetes and child “B”...
Children with severe reactive attachment disorder (RAD) have had their hearts so broken, that, in order to heal, they need an emotional ‘heart transplant’. The mother is the ‘donor’. You cannot give more than your heart to give a child life. This is a physically, and...
Our children’s childhoods were ripped off. The diaper days of cooing and gooing were destroyed. The joyful days of the first three years were swiped.
Research shows over 80% of prisoners were repeatedly told they would end up in prison. When we continually plant seeds of a vision of a...
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